It was as if time was frozen, I had no sense of minute going to minute, hour to hour in the aftermath of the horrible events that occurred yesterday afternoon during the Boston Marathon. To me that seems so odd because of how easily it is to find out what time it is. I for one wear a watch, have a cell phone, computer and an iPad. I was using the last 3 devices to try and gather all of the information that I can possibly find on what happened, while also checking in with all of my family and friends to make sure they were ok. I knew a few people that were running in the Marathon, as well as so many more who were spectators that day and one uncle who is a Boston Police Officer working the event. Luckily all of them are safe and were not hurt in the blast, but I can't seem to take solace in that. With so many people hurt in this event, it's hard to not have a heavy heart at this time.
I had walked by these spots so very often during my life. Growing up in Boston, I would often be taken downtown by family members and view all the beauty had to offer. Coming to college at Northeastern, I was the person who could show people around. I can't tell you how many times my friends and I have walked down Boylston St. to either go to the shops, to take photos of the city, or just because we wanted to. It was so surreal to watch. I have gone to the Marathon each year for the past 6 or 7 years, and have always ended up at the finish line at some point during the time of the race. This is the first year I was unable to go to the Marathon, and honestly if it was up to me I would've been there.
I read the news via twitter very shortly after it happened and immediately texted my Fiance to see how she was doing. I then started reaching out to every single person I knew was there to make sure they were ok. I was supposed to go to class at 4pm, but I found myself sitting on my couch at 4:15 when a classmate asked if I was going to make it. I knew I should go, but was unable to move for hours. I just wanted to find out everything I could find out. So many emotions have run through my head over the past 30 hours or so since this started.
Confusion was one of the first, with the lack of information at the start and slowly trickling to the media made this more apparent. It was tough to not take the bait on some things that were said online, in a desperate search for answers. Those of you who know me, I need to have answers in order to make sense of anything that has happened. It quickly turned into frustration as many media outlets, or people working in the media, when "facts" were revealed to be not true. As a Journalism student I learned the focus on an event like this should be on the victims/survivors and getting the facts straight rather than being "first" to report something. However I do want to point out the great work done by Steve Silva, a Boston Globe producer who ran toward the explosion while continuing the video he was filming. This allowed people like me to see what happened and it took tremendous courage.
Helplessness was next because I couldn't do anything to help. I tried my best to tweet out updates so people who might not follow the same outlets I follow could know what happened. That didn't seem like enough, I wanted nothing more to be one of those people running towards the explosion offering anything I could do to help, it really didn't have to be much, I just wanted to help. Unfortunately I couldn't do that, as a matter of fact I couldn't even give my Fiance a hug because we are an hour and a half away from each other. I am still trying to figure out ways to help.
The next was anger and rage. It was first directed to the person/people responsible for this atrocity. Why would anyone do this? I just wanted them to be caught and punished for their actions. I hope this person suffers for what they have done. Then the rage was refocused on the Westboro Baptist Church, who have spun this in favor of their beliefs. I don't want to get into what was said. I have never been religious and probably won't ever be. Turning innocent people who were killed/injured into propaganda is disgusting and absolutely sickening.
Sadness now overwhelms me, after seeing each twitter update from friends and news outlets I follow. More and more the numbers of injured go up. Friends, most of whom are still in Boston blocks from the bombings, expressing their fear of where the next bomb might go off. The uncertainty of what had actually happened and the demand for answers. The pictures of the deceased come up the next day and the sadness continues. An 8-year-old boy? Really?
Watching the events unfold, I have never been prouder to be from this city. Not because of the sports teams, but because of the brave men and women who ran towards the explosions to help others. I sometimes forget that our Police, EMS and Firefighters are actually real people and are brave on a daily basis, but this showed something special. The outpouring of support around the nation and the world for what the city has gone through. The googledoc that circulated of Boston residents offering their homes for people to stay for a night. The people who just finished running 26.2 miles and decide to keep running to the nearest hospital. The picture of a friend of mine who is pushing a stretcher with a survivor on it.
The good definitely outweighs the bad, and this is how I am getting through this tragedy. Knowing in my heart that despite the actions of one person or a group, their numbers are no where near the amount of good, kind hearted people in this world. One of my RAs asked me that if I don't believe in God, what do I believe in. I answered "People, my faith is in people. Despite the terrible evil that occurred, the events following reaffirmed my faith is in people and it will continue to be that way.
After what I have seen unfold, I have one more emotion... Excitement. I am excited to return to my home in just 6 weeks to work there for the summer. After all the good I have seen and heard, and will continue to hear over the next few weeks,
I have never been more excited to go HOME!
We are Boston Strong!
My faith has always been in people, too—people just like you!!
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